Fashion Sense Tries to Understand Ted Turner

Ted Turner has been making the rounds lately, promoting his new memoir. Though Turner has done some good deeds, he's still a billionaire and the largest individual landowner in the U.S., with all the problems and complications that implies. [Click on the above image for a larger version of this cartoon. The text reads: 'As usual, when I was on my way to visit my rescued Premarin mare, I ran into my next-door neighbor, and she said, "Hey, did you see Ted Turner on Sixty Minutes the other night?" and I said, "No, I missed that," and she said, "I assume you like Ted Turner since he used to be married to Jane Fonda and is a big liberal media tycoon and loves the United Nations and has a huge ranch where he lets the buffalo roam," and I said, "I like some things about him, but I'm not a big fan," and she said, "That really surprises me, but then I mostly like him because he gave us Turner Classic Movies, and I love watching those old Westerns. I mean, you love Westerns, right? I mean, you being a horsewoman and all," and I said, "I don't watch most Westerns because they usually treat American Indians pretty offensively and lie about how the West was stolen," and she said, "On Good Morning America I heard Ted say that he wants to earn enough money with his new book and his restaurants to buy back the Atlanta Braves. That shows he appreciates Indians, right?" and I said, "When Turner owned the Atlanta Braves, American Indians were upset that he wouldn't stop using the tomahawk chop, and some don't like the way he raises and slaughters his buffalo," and she looked very annoyed when she said, "Speaking of Westerns, your whole life's philosophy seems to be that there's The Good, the Bad and the Ugly, and you choose to emphasize the ugly -- but, oh, excuse me, I forgot, you don't watch Westerns, do you?" and I said, "Well, I did enjoy Brokeback Mountain," and she just rolled her eyes and walked back into her house.']

Fashion Sense Says There's Work to Be Done

Obama won, and for a while Americans have celebrated the election of our first African-American president. But everywhere we look -- from our economy to our environment -- our country is in a shambles. We have a lot of work ahead of us! [Click on the image to see a larger version of this cartoon. The text reads: 'Tonight we're having a LOVE meeting -- the League of Voting Environmentalists -- and we're supposed to be having a post-election strategy session, and everybody is excited about the fact that Obama won, but nobody wants to get down to business, and as soon as I got here Alissa said, "Did you see that dress Michelle was wearing on election night? What was up with that?" and Melissa, who is very big on Michelle, said, "I thought it was very cool," and Clarissa said, "I wonder when we'll find out if Al Franken won his Senate seat?" and Larissa said, "I don't know why he wouldn't win. He's good enough and he's smart enough, and gosh darn it, people like him... Remember when he was Stewart Smalley on Saturday Night Live?" and everybody laughed and talked about Tina Fey doing Palin on SNL for a while, and then Clarissa said, "Do you think Palin's wardrobe really looked like it was worth $150,000?" and we critiqued Palin's shoes for a while, and finally I said, "Hey, you guys are starting to sound like the commentators on Entertainment Tonight," and Alissa said, "Well, Barack is the biggest celebrity in the world right now," and I said, "But he's also the president-elect, and our country is a mess, and we all have a lot of work to do," and Larissa said, "Speaking of commentators, I really don't think Leno should have made fun of Wolf Blitzer’s holograms," and I said, "I'm going to take my dog out for a piddle," and Clarissa said, "Would you bring in the copy of People Magazine from my car?" and Alissa told me to ask my dog what kind of puppy the Obamas should get for their kids, and I said, "You know, I'm not sure I enjoy being in LOVE any more," and Clarissa said, "That's exactly what Britney Spears always says, but she never means it."']